Six month review

We have been foster parents for over 6 months now.  In some ways it seems a lot longer than that- especially when we think about what our foster kids were like when they got here, and the huge progress they have made.  In other ways it seems a lot shorter- the plan is that their case will be resolved within a year, and we are already half way there.
A quick update on their case- there is no news! (I told you it would be quick, HA!).  Without divulging too many details about the case, it really seems that when there are so many people involved- caseworkers, lawyers, judges, etc, nothing seems to happen quickly.  Every time we have had a court hearing, nothing has been decided because someone is in a trial and can't be there, or shows up late, or has a conflicting appointment.  And, of course, no one realizes that one of the important people can't be there until everyone else is already. at. court.  So they reschedule.

I think the thing that has surprised me the most about doing foster care is how much it would change my own heart.  Six months in, and I can tell you that nothing else in my life has revealed my own inadequacies like foster care.

"But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you... for if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?"  Matthew 5:44,46

For a lot of us, we don't have many true enemies.  Our "enemy" can simply be a friend who talks bad about us behind our back, a grocery store clerk who makes a snide comment during checkout, or a frustrating relative.  I never really found it that hard to love those people anyway and it is pretty easy to pat yourself on the back for doing so.  But when I was faced with a long list of harm that the biological parents had done to these two children, it was very easy to hate. I've had to continually come back to the fact that every one of us is deserving of God's love.  No matter what.

"We love because he first loved us" 1 John 4:19

Unfortunately, my lack of love didn't stop at the biological parents.  When we suddenly had two extra children in our home- children that took more energy and attention than our biological children- there were many days that we didn't feel loving.  For those of you that have not done foster care, you might find that shocking.  But believe me, no matter how sorry you feel for someone's situation, when they throw themselves on the floor in a fit 30 times a day, scream for an hour at nap time and bedtime every day, and have to be watched nonstop because they are purposefully destructive, it is pretty easy to reach the end of your rope.

Fortunately a lot of our foster kids' behaviors are dramatically improved.  But this was a really good lesson to me as a parent.   The reality is that we are supposed to love others every day, regardless of their action and whether or not they deserve love.  That is what Jesus did for us, and that is what we are supposed to do for others.  We choose to love because Christ loves us, not because we always "feel" like loving.

As we continue on our foster care journey, I am thankful and humbled at all that God has revealed in my own heart along the way.  We went into this thinking that it would be a great way to help some kids that needed a home.  I am grateful that God has used this as an opportunity to refine my own heart.